I love Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. It’s my favorite book.
I say that without hesitation.
I’ve reread Paulo Cohelo’s The Alchemist multiple times, love a good redemption story like Laura Hillenbrand’s Unbroken, and can sit with anything from Steinbeck or Cormac McCarthy for days on end – but nothing comes close to Dr. Frankl’s memoir, for me.
The book demands introspection on every page. I get something new from it every time I open it, and it’s made me a better man for more reasons than I can count.
One of the main themes that runs throughout the book is man’s capacity for suffering – and our ability to change ourselves when we can’t change our circumstances. I’ve written about it in the past, but one of his most famous quotes from the book resonates greatly with me:
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how'”.
Having been through hell and back, Dr. Frankl speaks from first-hand experience here. I try to remind myself of his wisdom as much as possible.
Recently, I read a memoir that shook me to my core in a similar way. When Breath Becomes Air by Dr. Paul Kalanithi explores dying and suffering, and through that – how to live. It’s a heavy read, but in my opinion essential reading for all. Here’s a short trailer for the book featuring Paul.
I think you should read it. There’s a part in the book where Paul and his wife, Lucy, are discussing the possibility of having a child before his cancer would make that impossible. Lucy asks Paul, bluntly, if bringing a child into the world would make his dying that much harder. In her words, she says, “Don’t you think saying goodbye to your child will make your death more painful?”
His response, I think, says a lot about how we should live our lives:
“Wouldn’t it be great if it did?”
Life is not about avoiding suffering.
It’s not about finding a place where you can stay comfortable, quiet, and painless. It’s about striving, as Paul says. Darwin and Nietzche agree: the defining characteristic of the organism is striving. Pushing onward. If you’re not striving – you’re not living.
As Nietzche said, “To live is to suffer. To survive is to find some meaning in the suffering”.
Strive to find your meaning. That’s living.
Rest in peace Paul, and thank you for your amazing gift to the world.