Justin Kerby

If you’re like most people, there are probably only a handful of books that you’ve picked up more than once.

That’s kind of crazy when you stop and think about it. When a book is powerful enough to move us or make us think differently, why wouldn’t we pick it up again and again?

This video from The School of Life does a great job explaining why we should be learning continuously and coming back to the things that have shaped us for the better.

If we can find things in books that speak to us and we want to incorporate those things into our lives, we need to re-read them, write down the important passages, and review them regularly.

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

-Muhammad Ali

This doesn’t just apply to learning and reading books, though.

Repetition is the way forward when it comes to establishing good habits as well. In his bestselling book Atomic Habits, James Clear writes:

“Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits…You get what you repeat.”

Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits, your ability shoot under 72 is a lagging measure of your time spent at the driving range, etc.

If you want to be better. If you want to be smarter. If you want to be faster. Let repetition be your coach.

I create more content than the average person. I write for multiple publications and newsletters and have created hundreds of videos and podcast episodes that you can find around the web.

When you publish things online, you’re bound to get some negative feedback – and typically, there’s nothing wrong with that. In some ways, it can help you grow. There are also times, however, when you get hate thrown your way. Today was one of those times for me. I found some comments on a video that I created that were unnecessarily insulting. It happens.

People deal with hate in different ways. It’s easy to get angry or to fire back at people. Whenever I find myself in this situation, I remind myself it goes along with stepping into the arena and look to my mentors for advice. My favorite creators deal with negative comments and bullies on a daily basis, and many of them have written about it extensively.

Ryan Holiday, bestselling author of The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic, and Stillness is the Key, has published hundreds of pieces online. He’s one of my favorite writers. In 2009, before he was as famous as he is today, he published a piece on how to deal with people who come at us. He writes:

“Once while Hadrian walked in the woods of a foreign country, a slave of his host ran out at him with a sword. He grabbed the man and took hold of him while he waited for the attendants who came to his aid. When it was established that the man was deranged, Hadrian asked that he be turned over to doctors and treated. And so the incident ended without the slightest agitation.”

He continues, “This is how we could all respond to the people who come at us. The passive-aggressive rivals or snippy family members or bad friends. Hand them back over to their kind before anyone is harmed and move on. Understand that they are ill in their own way and only acting out the symptoms of their affliction, whatever it may be. Soon enough, like Hadrian’s example, the reality of the threat will dissipate and all that will be left is the anecdote. If you can view it like that always, then there is no reason to be upset or shocked or rattled.”

I think my favorite part about this blog from 2009 is not just the words themselves. It’s the fact that Holiday took his own advice immediately after publishing. The post itself inspired negative feedback that you can still read in the comments section today. Holiday’s response was to move on unharmed and sell over 2 million copies of his 10 best-sellers.

That’s how it’s done. When people come at you, hand them back.

It can be really hard to let go – especially if you’ve been holding onto something or someone for a long time.

The truth is though, sometimes addition by subtraction is essential to your happiness, success, and overall well-being. I’ve spent a good portion of my time this year trying to listen to the wisdom of Toni Morrison:

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”